Without Prejudice. The posts in this blog are only my opinion, and should not replace or be considered that of a qualified physician. Brand names that are commented on are not meant to disrespect of be defamatory in any sense. The posts in this blog are only based on my personal experience under a doctor monitored and regulated use of opiates as an effective treatment for chronic pain.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Second Guessing

I have a thyroid condition. I take one pill a day, and there are times when the days and weeks blur and I forget to take my pill, sometimes for days on end.

I can usually tell when I have gone a few days without my thyroid pills. My mood changes, I get depressed. I get tired and my limbs feel heavy weighted. I get a numbness like a warm burning in my jaw and behind my eyes and I generally feel like crap.

With a lightbulb above my head, I eventually realize that I have forgotten to take my pill and that my thyroid levels are low. So I double up my dosage, have a good nights sleep, and usually the next day I start to return to normal.

When I take my thyroid pills daily, I am unaware of how dependent I have become on them. When I feel fine, I do not appreciate how effective they are in normalizing me, and it is only when I an not taking them, that I do realize how much I need them and how well they work.

So lately I have been enjoying a relatively pain free life. I would say 80% pain free with low to medium activity. In fact, I have been feeling "ok" so much so that I have begun to forget how horrible I feel when I do not take my opiates.

So now that I am feeling better I am wondering if this medication is necessary. This is how I think I should normally feel as far as daily pain and discomfort. And I wonder how I would feel if I stopped taking my oxy.

So I did jsut that - I skipped a couple pills today. And WOW! as hours go by, the pain is starting to come back. And what a reminder it is!

How did I cope with this pain before? Was it always this bad? Do I have less a tolerance for the pain? Or has my condition continued to deteriorate,? And I unaware of the continued damage due to my blocked pain receptors? Maybe I had become accustom to the pain before the meds and now that I have spent some time without pain, I do not have the tolerance, or natural pain inhibitors to cope with the pain?

As the pain comes back, I appreciate why I take these pills and how effective they really are. And I guess one of the reasons I am writing this blog is to remind me of the reasons why I take the pills. To remind me of where I have been, and what it was like before.

Save the second guessing for another day.

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